Many doctors we work with seek leadership coaching as they step into a new role. This is often a move from one leadership position into another that carries more visibility and scrutiny. They are also very aware of the person who held the role before them – the person they are replacing and whose shoes they are stepping into.
If that person was in the role for many years and finished an illustrious career, those shoes can feel very large, and the level of visibility and scrutiny can feel heavy.
So – as we all do in these situations – we compare ourselves to this “last great leader” and find ourselves thinking or saying things like:
“So-and-so was brilliant”
“They were the best XXXXX in Melbourne”
“Everybody loved them”
“They were a brilliant clinician and a great leader”
And then comes the self-comparison:
“I can never live up to that”
“I can never be that brilliant clinically and be a good leader as well”
“I couldn’t…”
“I won’t be able to do it like that”
It’s human nature to engage in social comparison and reflection. It’s part of our identity work. Identifying role models and people whose ways of leading you want to emulate can be very helpful. But we do need to be careful in how we do this identity work – and here’s why.
The iceberg model
What we see on the surface is not the whole story. It is just the tip of the iceberg. Most of the iceberg sits under the waterline – unseen.
The iceberg model reminds us of a few important things:
We only see the tip
We see what is visible, public, and recorded – the degrees, titles, certificates, publications, awards.
There is so much we don’t see
Most of the iceberg lies below the surface. It is made up of the whole life journey: the work, the experiences, the other people, the support structures.
We don’t know what’s under the surface (and we tend to discount it)
It’s not visible and often not spoken about – especially at work. That makes it vulnerable to assumptions, bias, and stereotype. We need to be careful.
So, what can we do?
When we find ourselves comparing our success to someone else’s, we can pause and remind ourselves of the iceberg model – and how it applies right now.
Acknowledge what is visible and what is not. It’s a reminder that we are seeing only the tip.
Recognise that comparison is normal, but not very helpful if we forget that every person has a whole iceberg – the seen and the unseen.
Accept that most of what is going on sits below the waterline, and we likely know nothing about it. A title, an award, an impressive career step – those are not the whole story.
It is an important reminder.
In the case of the “brilliant past leader” of your department, there are things you don’t know. You see the achievements but not the road to get there – the turns, the roadblocks, the barriers, the impacts along the way.
Success requires inputs such as:
Work, effort, study
Time
Sacrifice – time not spent on other things
Cost – not only financial, but also the impact on health, interests, friendships, family, and close relationships
Great leaders should be celebrated. But let’s celebrate their success more holistically – acknowledging the rest of the iceberg that supports the visible success: the people, the time, the trade-offs, all the things that are less seen at work.
This matters because when we do compare and look at ourselves, we need perspective and compassion. When we look at ourselves, we are aware of all the things below the surface that support the small part above it. We know the trade-offs, the costs, the people involved in our lives.
We can remind ourselves: there is always more going on than it seems. And that’s the case for everyone.
Dr Anna Clark (PhD) delivers AMA Victoria’s Leadership education and Leadership coaching programs. See here for specific offerings or contact Anna directly at [email protected].