Giving difficult feedback or raising a complaint is rarely straightforward. Both require careful preparation and thoughtful judgement if the goal is to achieve a constructive and effective outcome.
When the situation involves a difficult person – the topic of the last three articles, the process can become even more complex.
In this article we take a closer look at this thorny topic and explain why giving feedback and raising concerns is important when working with difficult people.
Why write this article?
Giving feedback and speaking up about problems – including registering a complaint – is part of a healthy work culture. There is no question that this is an important part of work.
Knowing what’s going on is essential for learning and improvement. If we do not hear feedback – good, bad and ugly – how can we take effective action to fix problems and improve?
If we cannot speak up about our work and how it is going – what helps and what hinders us doing our best work – how can teams function effectively? As we know, healthcare is delivered by teams not individuals.
However, while the rationale for giving feedback about issues and problems is sound, this does not mean it is easy or straightforward to do. When it involves a difficult person, the task can become even harder.
The aim of this article is to examine how to think about and plan feedback or a complaint when a difficult person is involved. Working with a difficult person adds complexity to this task in at least two ways.
When working alongside a difficult person it can be hard to gain clarity on what the issue or problem actually is. The increased emotional and cognitive load created by anxiety and stress around the person can make it difficult to clearly identify what is getting in the way of the work or your ability to do your work well.
When working with a difficult person it is also harder to gently test the waters by raising the issue one to one or offering some small pieces of informal feedback as a starting point. Difficult people are often unable or unwilling to listen or engage in these conversations. Others in the team may also be hesitant or reluctant to talk about the issue or raise it with them. In these situations raising the concern elsewhere may become another option, although this also comes with its own challenges.
What can we do to support ourselves in this situation?
The following tips outline things that are important to consider and prepare when giving feedback or making a complaint.
This article does not provide formal guidance or advice on workplace processes. For this you should seek advice from your Human Resources department or contact AMAVic’s Workplace Relations team.
Instead, these points are intended as practical stepping stones to help you think through your preparation and approach before raising an issue or complaint involving a difficult person. Situations like this often require extra care and forethought to ensure you approach the matter thoughtfully while also protecting yourself.
1. Get clarity on the problem:
Being clear, concise and specific about the events or actions that are causing the problem is essential. Any feedback or complaint needs to focus on what is happening – what is being said, done or not done – that is having a negative impact on you and your ability to do your work well.
The issue is NOT that the person is “difficult” or that you find their personality challenging. The focus must be on the specific behaviours or actions that are creating a problem. The first step therefore is to clearly identify what the issue actually is.
This can be difficult because we often need to move beyond the feelings and impact level to identify what the other person did or said – or did not do – that affected you and your work.
When dealing with a difficult person this may involve disentangling your thinking from the stress, anxiety or even fear that can arise when working with them. It can help to return to the fundamentals of your role. Review your responsibilities or position description and ask a simple question: what is getting in the way of me doing my job?
Is there a specific event, action or behaviour that is creating the barrier?
For example, a behaviour that creates a problem might be when emails are never answered or supervision meetings are repeatedly cancelled or postponed. In these situations you may be unable to obtain the guidance and feedback needed to perform your clinical duties safely and effectively.
2. Create a written record of the issue or problem (for yourself)
Once you have gained some clarity and specificity write this down as a personal record or work diary entry. Use clear and specific language to document the events, behaviours or actions that are the issue and the impact they are having on your work. For more, see our article on creating a work diary.
Even though this is a personal note at this stage and not necessarily something you intend to share it is still important to practise privacy and confidentiality. Consider not using names or using an initial or symbol to identify the person involved.
The purpose of this record is to capture the ‘what’. What events, actions or behaviours are occurring and what impact they are having. In other words, why these events or actions are creating a problem for you and your ability to work in an effective, healthy and sustainable way.
Make this a personal record in the first instance. Write it in a document on a personal device at home or send a note to yourself via a personal email address. Ensure the information is stored somewhere that others cannot access.
Note: If you then plan to raise this issue in a meeting or know that you will discuss the issue after lodging a complaint, our Workplace Relations team recommend also writing a plan for that meeting or conversation in terms of what you intend to say and are willing to talk about in that setting.
Having a plan for how you will talk about the issues is part of the process of protecting oneself while making a complaint about, or raising an issue with, a colleague. The point is that having a plan can support you to only say what you intend to say and nothing more – and may also include a note about what you don’t want to say. The plan helps prevent miscommunication, protects against being baited into saying something that you didn’t intend, and creates evidence of what you said if it is later contested
3. Seek counsel and advice
As discussed in Article 1 talking with trusted others can help you gain perspective. Another person may see the situation in a different light or help you think through the issue more clearly. It can also be supportive to speak with someone who understands what you are experiencing or who may have encountered something similar, perhaps even involving the same person.
Be careful about how much detail you share. When dealing with a difficult person it is important to avoid contributing to hearsay or gossip. Some individuals can be particularly sensitive to criticism or scrutiny, so it is wise to exercise discretion when discussing the situation with others.
4. Know and understand the options for giving feedback or making a formal complaint.
There are usually several ways to raise feedback or concerns in a workplace. At the informal end this may involve raising the issue verbally in a regular meeting or arranging a discussion with a supervisor. At the more formal end there may be established processes such as lodging a complaint through a reporting system or speaking directly with Human Resources or People and Culture.
It is important to understand what may be involved in any process you are considering. You can usually seek information about the process without making a complaint. For example you might contact Human Resources and ask what would be involved if someone wished to raise a concern.
Also keep in mind that anonymity can be difficult to maintain. Consider carefully the possible implications of who may be informed and what information may need to be shared.
In our experience many people do not know how formal feedback or complaints processes actually work. Others within a team’s leadership structure may also have limited experience navigating them. Formal complaints can involve several departments and processes including Human Resources, People and Culture, workplace health policies and sometimes external medical practitioners.
Before proceeding it is important to understand how the process may unfold and what the potential outcomes might be. For example, will someone contact you to gather more information? How confidential is the process in practice? Will you be asked to discuss the issue with another staff member? Will the other person be informed that a complaint has been made and if so, how will that occur?
5. Strengthen your own professional standing
In our experience when someone speaks up – gives feedback or raises a complaint – they may also find themselves under additional scrutiny. For example, during the process someone may review the complainant’s own records such as performance development reviews, leave history or other information held within the system.
For this reason, it can be helpful to ensure you are in a strong professional position before raising concerns that may be uncomfortable for others or for the organisation. Are your performance development records up to date? How are you tracking against any agreed goals? How strong are your professional relationships if you need support from a supervisor, mentor, colleague or Human Resources? Who would be able to support you if questions arise?
It is not our intention to create fear, but a note of caution is appropriate. We have seen situations where someone raises an issue with the intention of improving a situation only to have the focus shift back onto them. For example, the other person involved may claim they feel unsafe or unfairly targeted which can shut down the person who initially raised the concern.
In many workplaces it is still difficult to raise concerns openly. Not all teams have a strong culture of open communication, psychological safety and constructive discussion about what is not working. In this environment it can be a big ask to expect individuals to raise problems and have them addressed positively.
In summary
Our experience is that systems do not always respond well to complaints or problems and the process can be uncomfortable for those who raise them.
A cautious and thoughtful approach is therefore wise.
Move slowly and focus on actions and behaviours rather than labelling the person. Describe the impact these actions or behaviours have on your ability to do your job professionally.
Click here for more leadership insights, including topics such as psychological safety, giving difficult feedback and de-escalating tension in conversations.
You can also view our professional development offerings in this area:
Leadership education for senior doctors
Creating psychological safety in your team
Leadership coaching for doctors
Dr Anna Clark (PhD) delivers AMA Victoria’s Leadership education and Leadership coaching programs. If you would like to find out more about our leadership development offerings schedule a discovery call or email [email protected].