We’ve all been there—the anxiety, the procrastination, and sometimes even the outright fear of giving difficult feedback. It’s a common struggle, and many of our members have shared their concerns with us recently.

We have previously highlighted the critical role feedback plays in fostering learning and cultivating a culture of continuous improvement. While we offer resources online to help you structure your feedback effectively, we understand that it does not make the task any easier. Below are some key strategies that can help make this challenging process a bit smoother.
 

1. Recognise the challenge

First, acknowledge that giving difficult feedback is tough. It requires a balance of self-compassion and the delicate handling of sensitive information. Telling someone that their actions (or inactions) are not yielding positive outcomes is inherently challenging. It may hurt their feelings and disrupt the positive rapport between you. The recipient may find it hard to hear and may feel criticised, judged, or even like they have failed. This is often why we hesitate.
 

2. Prepare thoughtfully

Take the time to plan your feedback. Before speaking with your colleague, ask yourself: What do I need to convey? Why is this feedback necessary? How will it help them, or the situation improve? Clarity in your purpose is crucial—the message you share should be geared toward supporting their growth and driving positive change.

3. Share your positive intent

Research shows that when people believe you genuinely care about them and their improvement, they are more likely to listen and act on your feedback. So, be transparent about your intentions. You might say something like:

• "I’m sharing this to help you improve."
• "I know this might be hard to hear, but my goal is to make things better in the long run."
• "This might be uncomfortable, but I believe it will really help you."
• "If you can work on this area, it will make a significant difference."
• "You’re only halfway through this rotation—if things improve, you can excel here."

4. Offer ongoing support

Remember, feedback is often more than a single conversation. There is an art to gauging when the other person has absorbed enough for the moment and recognising when it is time to revisit the topic. You could say, “Let’s discuss this further next week,” or “Let’s pause for now and continue this conversation later.”

5. End on a note of care

Conclude by reiterating your positive intent: “I know this is difficult, but improving in this area will make a meaningful difference.” This reinforces that you are sharing feedback out of care for them and the quality of their work.

Resources 

• Overcome your fear of giving feedback | HBR

Leadership insights:

• Leadership insight #15 / 2022: The importance of feedback for a learning culture: Part 1

• Leadership insight #16 / 2022: The importance of feedback for a learning culture: Part 2

The goal of these short 'leadership insights' is to share key concepts and ideas on effective leadership, along with practical tips for applying them in your own context. Look for a new insight every two weeks in the Check-up.

Dr Anna Clark (PhD)
Dr Anna Clark is AMAVs Leadership consultant, coach and educator, currently offering individual coaching for doctors and directing the AMA’s professional development programs in leadership, the Emerging Leader Program and Middle Leader Program.