Checking in on the wellbeing of colleagues and staff is important work – part of our duty of care to each other and part of leadership.
Simple, but not easy.
It’s simple to say the words ‘Are you OK?’, but it’s not so easy to create the space with someone and be fully present to ask with real care when work is so full. There can also be barriers such as:
- Not knowing when you will next see them
- Worrying if they would feel comfortable with you asking
- Feeling you don’t have the headspace or bandwidth
- Thinking you are not the right person to have this conversation
The RUOK organisation exists to “inspire and empower everyone to meaningfully connect with the people around them and start a conversation with those in their world who may be struggling with life”. They argue strongly that a conversation can change a life, and also acknowledge that while you don’t have to be an expert to ask, you may not always have the capacity – and that’s ok. You might instead talk with a colleague who could then be the one to check in.
What can we do to support ourselves to ask this question when needed and appropriate?
Asking a colleague at work ‘Are you OK?’ is engaging in a meaningful check-in – it may be brief, but it is a sensitive topic around which we tread carefully.
You don’t have to say, ‘Are you OK’?! The RUOK Organisation makes a recommendation in terms of how to ask – saying “be relaxed, friendly and concerned in your approach”, and provides suggested short sentences such as:
- How are you going?
- What’s been happening?
- How are things?
- I’m here if you ever want to chat
- I’m ready to listen / go for a walk if you ever want to talk
These are short sentences – designed with care to ask a genuine question, while treading lightly in the knowledge that the answer may not be easy.
In the workplace we have a duty of care for each other. A shared responsibility to form professional connections that keep each other engaged with the work and with colleagues.
So how can we set this conversation up for success in busy and dynamic workplaces?
- Remember its importance
Checking in is part of our duty of care to colleagues, to our teams and to leadership.
- Acknowledge the barriers
You may not know someone well, or you may feel it is too much to ask outright. Naming those barriers helps you navigate them.
- Be compassionate with yourself
You will not always have the headspace for this work. That is OK. Notice when you cannot, and consider whether someone else might be able to step in.
- Notice and make a mental note
Even if you cannot start the conversation, you can pay attention and keep an eye on colleagues or situations that do not feel right.
- Think about context
When might you naturally connect with them – a particular shift, a meeting, or even a quick message? Timing matters.
- Build up gradually
You do not need to do everything at once. Small, everyday check-ins can lead to the bigger ‘R U OK?’ conversation. What matters is that you notice, you care, and you make space for connection.
Many of the doctors we work with tell us they worry about one or more of their colleagues. They also say it can be hard to find the right moment to check in, especially during long shifts, late nights or when overtime is piling up.
These work environments are challenging, so we need to find workarounds while also managing our own capacity and well-being.
Go slowly. Do not worry about getting it exactly right. Consider using some of the short sentences above to guide you.
Dr Anna Clark (PhD) delivers AMA Victoria’s Leadership education and Leadership coaching programs. See here for specific offerings or to book a discovery call. You can also contact us via email [email protected]